My new workout goal: The pull-up

When I first started this new lifestyle change back in January, I was very hesitant to start lifting weights.  In my previous attempt to lose weight, I was at the gym 6 days a week, lifting weights and riding the bike.  It got me NOWHERE!!! However, I also didn't have my thyroid regulated with meds like I do now, but I blamed the weights.  When I would complain about not losing enough weight, people would say "muscle weighs more than fat....you must just be gaining more muscle".  While muscle does weigh more than fat, I was still upset and I knew that something was wrong.

After taking a hiatus from the gym, and going to my doctor and getting my thyroid regulated (which really was my main roadblock to weight loss), I realized that the other roadblock was the intensity of my cardio.  I was sitting on a stationary bike and my heart rate wasn't getting as high as it needed to be to really burn some calories.  So, we (my husband and I) started doing the elliptical and OMG....that sucker burns some calories, especially when you hit some heavy resistance.  But even after seeing results with the elliptical, I was still hesitant to try weight lifting again.  I didn't want to hit the same plateau that I had before and stop seeing good numbers on the scale. 

But, finally, after hearing about all the health benefits of weight lifting (lean muscle mass burns more calories at rest than fat, it'll make you stronger, etc) and after people telling me how much it benefits them, I decided to give it a try....again.  And guess what.....I am in LOVE with strength training! I don't know how I ever went to the gym and left without hitting the free weights these past few months.  It is so much fun and it feels amazing.  I don't remember it being this fun when I tried it before....maybe because my attitude is different.  And while the numbers on the scale have dwindled a little bit (about 1 lb a week loss instead of 2)...I am getting so much stronger.  My husband told me the other day at the gym (on the calf raise machine) that he can see definition in my legs now.  That's exactly why you to the gym.....to hear that people can SEE a difference in how you look! 

My plan is to pump up the intensity of my cardio to give my body a boost and get back to a 2 lb per week weight loss....but I also plan on working on being able to do a pull-up.  It was in both of my magazines (SHAPE and Women's Health) this month and I am determined to pull this off!  My upper body was incredibly weak....and still isn't as strong as I want it to be, but it's getting better.  It's gonna take some time to do this, I know....but the first time that I can pull myself over that bar.....I'm gonna be so excited! How great will that feel? It always feels good to have a goal...and even better when you reach it.  So here goes nothin'!!!

Swimsuit Season

There are two words in the English language that can strike fear into the heart of the most confident, assertive and vivacious of women: swimsuit season!  For the most part, I am an extremely extroverted personality.  I am loud and opinionated.  I am confident in my ability to do almost anything.....until.....you put me in a swimsuit.  My confidence is stripped away and is replaced with fear and self-loathing.  For other people, without kids, this wouldn't pose a problem.  If you didn't want to be in a swimsuit, you wouldn't have to be.  However, I have a daughter and she insists on living at the swimming pool during the summertime. 

A few weeks ago, I went swimsuit shopping.  I drove home in tears, literally.  I could barely see the road because I was sobbing hysterically.  I think that it was more devastating than I had planned because I have been working so hard to lead a healthier lifestyle.  I eat right and I exercise regularly.  Even though I see my body everyday and know what it looks like.....I assumed (ridiculously) that I would look better in a swimsuit than I actually did.  I was terrified.  What was I going to do?  My daughter wants to go to the pool and I don't want to sit out and watch her play.....I want to play with her!

So....I dried my face and refocused my energy to where it needed to be.....continuing with what I am doing with my eating and my workouts.  Like I have said before, there is no magic pill and I simply have to keep working.  I will, no doubt, get to where I need/want to be.  It just takes time. 

Now I go to the pool with Caitlyn, still draped in fear, but with less self-loathing :)  I realized that most (not all....but most) of the women there have similar struggles.  Most of the women at my pool are members at my gym and I see them working for what they have and it gives me hope.  I can't wait for next swimsuit season.  I will be in much better shape and self-loathing will no longer be an issue.  But, I have to work for it.  I have to push through these feelings of inadequacy to get to the other side.  And while I'm working and waiting for that great body to reveal itself, I'll be damned if I make my little girl play in the pool by herself.  I may not be the best looking chic at the pool.....but I'm definitely the one having the most fun!     

It's all up here......

After I dropped my daughter off at school this morning, I came home to a nice and peaceful house.  I made some coffee and had some breakfast while watching a good movie.  After about an hour, I got dressed and ready for the gym.  As I stepped outside, I thought "This is going to be a great day!"  It 's beautiful outside and I am so blessed.  I got into the car and put on my iPod (yes, I listen to my iPod while I drive....it gets me revved up to go and work out).  I jammed out all the way to the town club.  I was in a great mood.....and I carried that mood into the gym with me.

It amazes me, each time I get to the gym, how important my attitude really is.  When I drive to the gym and I'm dreading it (it happens to the best, most determined of people), that 45 minutes of cardio seems like hours.  I seem to get drained quicker, I don't burn as many calories, and it's an all around drag.  But, when I go to the gym determined and ready to kick some ass.....that's exactly what I do.  The 45 minutes flies by and I burn more calories than I had intended to.  I think to myself...."Why can't every day be like this?"

The truth is, every day won't be like this.....and that's why it's so important to ger "right" before you go into the gym (or outside to run, walk, play sports, whatever).  There are so many external factors that can have an effect on our day, our mood, and our attitude.  We can't change the weather, or how people treat us....but we can affect the way we respond.  I must admit that it's a lot easier to go and work out when it's nice and shiny outside....it just puts you in a better mood.....but we still have to burn calories on those rainy, overcast days too.  It's just gonna take a little more "mental prep" than those sunny days :)

When I was at the gym this morning, I was amazed at how much stronger my body has become.  My range of motion has improved....I'm working muscles I didn't even know I had.....and every time I look down at my thighs....they're smaller!  These are the things I am going to have to focus on the next time I am dreading going to the gym.  These are the reasons that I go......to become stronger.......and I am well on my way!

Mixin' it up.....

I was getting ready to go to the gym the other day and realized that I was dreading it.  It had become boring to me.  I immediately began to worry.  I thought "If I start to hate going to the gym.....I'll stop going and then I'll be right back where I started.....yuck!"  I ran to my computer and started to look for some group classes that I could start going to, just to mix things up.  I found several classes.....so I went to one....that very day.  I loved it!  It's a step & sculpt class.  It mixes cardio and strength training and it kills ya.....but in a good way :)

I had never been in this predicament before.  In previous attempts to get healthy, I would quit going to the gym, not out of boredom, but out of laziness.  I never worked out long enough to deal with all the problems that I had read about....."work out boredom".  I read articles every month in my Women's Health magazine and SHAPE magazine, all about how to spruce up your workouts to avoid becoming stagnant and bored.  I would always skip past those articles because it didn't pertain to me.  I couldn't see how you could get bored with the gym.  I see it now!

So, after my first time at my new step & sculpt class, I was hooked.  I go every Monday afternoon now.  It's an amazing way to burn fat and get toned.  I still do my elliptical to make sure that I'm reaching my calorie burn, but  not everytime I go to the gym.  I find myself getting excited about going to the gym again....and we all need to be excited about getting healthy....or we just won't do it....and stick with it. 

I was looking at the group schedule today, for my gym, and found some water aerobics classes that I wanna take.  I know that swimming is an awesome workout, for both cardio and toning, but I'm a little apprehensive about going.  A swimsuit?  Me??  I'm not comfortable with that.  I want to get a better body before I get into a swimsuit....but if I get into a pool, I can get that body faster.  What to do??  One day....hopefully soon.....I am gonna get in that pool, mix it up, and after a while, I'll finally have a body that I'm proud of....and I'll start looking forward to putting on my swimsuit!

There is no magic pill....

Today my husband and I were at Hastings.  We rented a movie and then decided to kill some time and go and look for a book that my pastor has been referencing at church.  Lately, I have been really interested in health and fitness books, so I made sure to swing by that section as well.  I couldn't believe it.  I was, and still am blown away by how many "diet" books are polluting our bookshelves.  Who buys these things?  I know...I know....alot of people do.  Well...I'm here to tell ya....there is no "magic pill"!


I've been down that road....alot!  I've done the Atkins diet and read books about the South Beach diet and had friends who did the cabbage soup diet.  These diets give you quick results, but they quickly fade and then you blow up like the Goodyear Blimp.  Any diet, no matter who endorses it, no matter what celebrity swears by it, must involve physical activity and good, nutritious food choices.  If not...it's CRAP!  Take the Atkins diet craze that hit a few years ago.  I tried it...so there is no judgment here.  That diet had people, myself included, believing that eating cheeseburger patties, bacon, sausage, eggs, and cheese were good for you.  It convinced you to give up fruit!  What person in their right mind thinks that this diet could truly be effective in the long run?


Diets like these, and the people who support them, are hoping to prey on people who are exhausted with being overweight....people who are busy and think they don't have time to work out or plan a healthy eating schedule.  Diet gurus are hoping that you're just ignorant enough to buy into their lies.  Eating better and being physically active must become priorities.  I know that people are busy and our lives are hectic.  Finding time to go to the gym or cook healthy meals is a struggle, I know.  However, for the things that are important in our lives, we make time.  It's a matter of what is important to you.


Another reason these fad diets seem to be so popular is that it's audience is ignorant to what is best for them.  I don't say that in a condescending way, I'm still learning these things myself.  If you don't know what your body needs to stay healthy and what your body needs to be doing to stay active, then it's very easy to be swayed by diet books promising you quick results with minimal effort.  We all know better, but we buy into it anyway.  More often than not, if it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is.


Getting healthy can also be a little scary.  You are so afraid that you're going to have to give up everything you once loved and live at the gym and life as you know it will cease to exist.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  When my husband and I were at Hastings today, looking at the health/fitness books, he said to me "I don't want you becoming a health nut!"  I'm not sure, but I assume he says that because he's afraid I'll turn our house into a farmer's market and  never cook another good-tasting meal for the rest of our lives.  People are afraid of what they don't know.  That's why it's so important to read up....find out what is good for you.  Talk to your doctor.  Read literature that comes from a credible source, not just any old book lying around.  Do your research.  Knowledge is power.


Last, but not least, stay active.  Even the best eating habits won't get you nearly as far if you don't get moving.  There are so many pluses to exercise, I don't have time to list them all.  And once you start, you'll become addicted and you'll need that exercise to feel good.  I know that it's hard to work out at the end of a long day at work, but we all need to do it.  Just like laundry, or showering, it must be done.  It's like that old saying "Anything worth having is worth fighting for!"  It won't be easy, but the good stuff never is.   

How you see yourself

I had an epiphany in art class today (it's amazing how God works....I had many a thought about skipping art class today, but I decided to go ahead and go).  We have fellow students doing mini art lessons (to prepare us for teaching) and today we had an art project that had us break a peice of paper down into 8 parts and write down 8 words that describe us.  It could be something important to us, something to describe us, or a word that had special meaning to us.  The first few words weren't very hard for me......God, family, school, JOY.....but I struggled with the next few words.  I started to write the word fitness, but something stopped me.  What concerned me about that was.....why??? Why was writing down that fitness what important to me and was a big part of my life....difficult for me?  Why did I hesitate?

It's because of how I see myself.  That's the problem.  I've read about it in health magazines and fitness literature, but hadn't experienced it until today.  A big part of losing weight and becoming fit is how we see ourselves.  I read once that when you lose weight, even 100 lbs, you still look in the mirror and see that "fat" person.  Even though you fit into smaller jeans and you KNOW that you look different, you still see that fat person.  Embracing that new body and that new person is a struggle, especially if you have been unhealthy most of your life.  Now, I'm not morbidly obese.....but I still struggle with how I see myself.  It's not a low self-esteem issue.....I know what I'm worth and what I deserve, but it's a matter of adjustment.  My fear was, when I wrote down fitness on my peice of paper, that people would look at it and say "Fitness?? Really?? It doesn't look like fitness is important to her!"  Again, I'm not a whale....people don't look at me and think "My Lord....she's HUGE!"  But still, I hesitated.  If I can't see myself in a new light, how can I ever expect anyone else to?

I know this is a strange fear to have.  And if you've never struggled with your weight, then you probably don't understand it.  It's like the kids in high school who want to try out for the basketball team, or the volleyball team, or the cheerleading squad.  They want to, but they don't....because no one sees them as a "basketball player" or a "volleyball player" or a "cheerleader".....so they never see themselves that way either.  They never try out for the team and they never get to accomplish that goal.  It's the same concept with weight and getting healthy.  I am going to walk in the "Race for the Cure" in September and I hesistated even doing that.  My initial thought was "Chubby girls don't do things like that!"....and then I thought "Well....this chubby girl does.....and I am gonna do it every year that I possibly can!"

It's all a matter of perspective.  Who cares how anyone else sees me if I can't see myself for all that I'm worth and all that I am capable of?  I ended up putting fitness down on my peice of paper and displayed it proudly.  Fitness is a part of who I am.  Not everyone who is now a fitness guru started out that way.  Alot of them were overweight and unhealthy and decided to change their lives.  This is just my beginning.....I'll be a fitness guru before you know it!  

I feel FANTASTIC

As I was driving to the gym this late Saturday morning, I thought to myself....."I feel fantastic!". Then, when I left the gym.....I felt even better. Why have I not been exercising my whole life?? Why do more people not do this?? Why do more people not eat better?? The payoff is so worth it! As I sit here, eating my Lean Cuisine chicken fettucine alfredo.......I know that no food (not even.....dare I say, chocolate) is better than how I've been feeling lately.



It is amazing how God designed the human body. They are miracle machines. If we take care of them and fuel them with the right foods, there is nothing they can't do. They are fully capable of sustaining years and years of vibrant life, fighting off infectious diseases, birthing children, making children (hehe), etc. It amazes me....most of us take better care of our cars than we do our bodies. We wouldn't put greasy, nasty Crisco in our gas tanks, but we're more than willing to clog our own arteries with it. Eeewwwwww!!

I have, first hand, experienced what a healthier body can do....and I'm just getting started. I used to get migraines.....constantly. And while they haven't gone away completely.....they are few and far between. I used to get so winded from climbing the stairs to my biology class that I had to take a moment before I walked into class to catch my breath, for fear of another student tring to give me CPR! Now....I fly up those things.....and walk straight into class. I used to have pain in my left knee constantly. I still do sometimes, but the elliptical has helped strengthen my knee and ease that pain. My mood is better, my body is leaner, my heart is stronger and my mind is clearer.


Now....for the final BIG plus to eating better and exercising. I apologize in advance to my mother, Aunt Debbie (not really....she'll get a kick out of this), Grandma and sibs (if you guys are reading this)....but it must be said. The “behind closed doors” part of being married is awesome when you feel better!! I'm a married woman.....there is no shame, nor is it a secret that married couples have sex (or should be). And when you're not so tired......and sick.....and feeling bleh......and hating your body.......you find time for activities you didn't normally feel up for before. Both my husband and I have been hitting the gym and eating better and it has SOOOOO paid off!!! So.....ladies and gentlemen.......if for no other reason.....hit the gym for that!
I can't wait to see what the future has in store for me. I am just getting started.....and the best is yet to come. It's so refreshing to get up everyday knowing that it's only going to get better from here. I find myself thinking about trips to celebrate my retirement......future goals as a grandmother.......and things I want to do for my 80th birthday. I plan on being around for a while.....and not just alive....but really LIVING!!