I was sitting on my couch this morning, after eating my yogurt and granola for breakfast, feeling pretty proud of myself and I picked up my Women's Health magazine. The title of the article was "When Fat Comes Back". Intrigued by the title, I read the entire article in just a few minutes. I like to think of myself as a split personality, but in a good way. I always have two sides of my brain fighting for control over my thoughts, and therefore, my behavior. One side started to get anxious. After reading all of the information in this article, I began to worry if all of my weight loss efforts would come back to haunt me. What if I lost all the weight, just to gain it all back, and then some. According to this article, statistically, it's a very high possibility.
Luckily, my other side, the good (more positive side) took over. It's been doing that alot lately :) I started thinking about the flip side of that statistic. What if I lost all the weight and kept it off? What if I finally reached my goal and got everything I ever wanted from my body? That's the kind of statistic I want to be. This article had alot of good information and it's intent was not to scare women out of losing weight, but to be careful of yo-yo dieting. I've blogged about this once before, but it needs to be said again: This is not a diet, but a lifestyle change. You see women losing 60 lbs. in 3 months or other radical numbers. Of course they're gaining weight back.....3 months is not enough time to change 25 years of poor choices. In this article, they did a study on 2 different groups of women. They ate the same, exercised the same, but one day out of the week, one of the groups had a behavioral therapy session while the other group exercised. Guess which group kept the weight off? That's right....the group with therapy.
Losing weight is so much more than a physical battle. It's a mental WAR! You are battling years and years of habit. You are going against what used to be considered normal for you. That's gonna take time. You have to set reasonable goals and understand that mistakes are going to be made. Example: I was driving in Canyon yesterday and started craving a coke.....terribly. I hadn't had one in....I don't know how long....and the craving was strong. I kept telling myself that I didn't need a coke and that I could go to Sonic and get a tea, unsweet, and that would be much better for me. I was not allowed to have a coke! Instead of driving to Sonic, this train of thought led me right to McDonald's for a coke. The more I told myself I couldn't have one, the more I wanted one. I pulled through the drive thu and got my coke! I yanked the paper off the straw and took a drink! Finally....a coke!!!
Oh, my Lord!! It was like drinking whiskey from the bottle. Who knew coke was that acidic? The minute I drank it, I didn't want it anymore. It was my mode of thinking that made that coke irresistable to me. I had made it "off limits" and that is a HUGE mistake. Making something "taboo" or "off limits" makes it that much more attractive to you. I've learned so much in these last few months. I've learned that there isn't anything I can't eat, just stuff that I shouldn't eat, and there's a big difference between the two. Knowing that I CAN have something, gives me back the control. I can eat whatever I want! I can eat a hamburger from McDonald's, but I choose to eat grilled chicken with carrots instead.
After reading that article, I was so proud of myself. I may be losing weight slowly, but that's how I am going to change my behavior. If it takes me til 2011 to get to my goal weight, then that's fine, cause it's not coming back. It's gonna take more than 3 or 4 months to change how I've been eating for 27 years.....and I dont' have anything....but time!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The Biggest Loser
I am a HUGE fan of the Biggest Loser! I don't smoke, I don't drink (excessively), but this show is my drug of choice. It is so motivating. When I'm on the elliptical and I feel like giving up, I imagine the people on that show. I imagine the 400-500 lb. contestants who hit the BL gym every day. If they can do that, what excuse do I have? These people hit the gym carrying weight I couldn't even imagine, with extensive injuries from carrying around that weight. If they can do it, I sure as hell can! I'm sure each and every one of those contestants had a point in their life where they realized that their weight was beginning to become a problem and they needed to do something about it. Unlike the contestants on that show, I won't ignore that realization.
I truly believe that if becoming "fit" and losing weight is a struggle for you, you need to turn to channel 4, every Tuesday night at 7 pm. That show is amazing! You can see the change in those people from their first week on the ranch. As of now, they have been at the ranch for 10 weeks and the transformations are astonishing! It's amazing what feeling better does your outside appearance. Not only are these people dropping pounds and inches, but they are getting their lives back. You can see the person, underneath, that's always been there and has been waiting to come out. You can see how much they had been prisoners in their own bodies. I'm blessed, I don't have hundreds of pounds to lose, but I do have my insecurities and watching those contestants melt their insecurities away makes it that much easier to get up and go to the gym on Wednesday.
I truly believe that if becoming "fit" and losing weight is a struggle for you, you need to turn to channel 4, every Tuesday night at 7 pm. That show is amazing! You can see the change in those people from their first week on the ranch. As of now, they have been at the ranch for 10 weeks and the transformations are astonishing! It's amazing what feeling better does your outside appearance. Not only are these people dropping pounds and inches, but they are getting their lives back. You can see the person, underneath, that's always been there and has been waiting to come out. You can see how much they had been prisoners in their own bodies. I'm blessed, I don't have hundreds of pounds to lose, but I do have my insecurities and watching those contestants melt their insecurities away makes it that much easier to get up and go to the gym on Wednesday.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
The Big Picture
I woke up this morning, very excited. Almost like a kid at Christmas. Tuesday mornings have become a very exciting and anxious time for me. It's my weigh-in day. I chose to do it only one day a week so that I wouldn't become obsessed with the number on the scale. Somehow, that hasn't worked. I am still very preoccupied all day Monday with what tomorrow's numbers are gonna bring. I step on the scale, ready to see another 2-3 lb drop....only to be let down. I had only lost 1/2 lb.
Now....the upbeat and positive side of me said "Hey, at least it's a drop. You didn't stay the same and you didn't gain, so that's good." The other side of me, the darker, more negative side wanted to kick my own ass for not trying harder. I thought back to my week. What had I eaten? Had I missed a day at the gym? Why didn't I lose the weight? As far as the gym goes, I hadn't skipped a beat. Then, my husband reminded me that we had made a few bad food choices last week (mostly due to being too tired or busy to cook). We eat out every Sunday with my family, which takes its toll, but on top of that, we had ordered pizza one night and eaten out another time. I started feeling depressed.
Then, after a few moments of regret, I realized something. I'm in this for the long haul. This is life. Life is gonna throw bad days where cooking a healthy meal just isn't in the cards. Some days, you're in a crunch and have to swing by a drive thru. I'm not gonna stop "living"! I'm still doing well. On the days we do cook, we eat very healthy and I can't say that I will NEVER eat another piece of pizza again or stop going out to eat with my family......who would want THAT? I just have to remember that this is a lifestyle change, not a diet. I have to stick to a plan that is gonna work for me until the day I die and that plan....is gonna have a few more slices of pizza in it.....healthy or not!
Now....the upbeat and positive side of me said "Hey, at least it's a drop. You didn't stay the same and you didn't gain, so that's good." The other side of me, the darker, more negative side wanted to kick my own ass for not trying harder. I thought back to my week. What had I eaten? Had I missed a day at the gym? Why didn't I lose the weight? As far as the gym goes, I hadn't skipped a beat. Then, my husband reminded me that we had made a few bad food choices last week (mostly due to being too tired or busy to cook). We eat out every Sunday with my family, which takes its toll, but on top of that, we had ordered pizza one night and eaten out another time. I started feeling depressed.
Then, after a few moments of regret, I realized something. I'm in this for the long haul. This is life. Life is gonna throw bad days where cooking a healthy meal just isn't in the cards. Some days, you're in a crunch and have to swing by a drive thru. I'm not gonna stop "living"! I'm still doing well. On the days we do cook, we eat very healthy and I can't say that I will NEVER eat another piece of pizza again or stop going out to eat with my family......who would want THAT? I just have to remember that this is a lifestyle change, not a diet. I have to stick to a plan that is gonna work for me until the day I die and that plan....is gonna have a few more slices of pizza in it.....healthy or not!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Taking it One Day at a Time
I'm a planner. Always have been. Always will be. Planning seems to calm me. It gives me the illusion of control. I plan my college courses, all the way through to my master's degree (and I'm not even done with my bachelor's yet). I plan for my daughter's college education, her wedding, her high school sporting activities....and she's only 7. I am planning a Vegas trip for July.....of next year. They can't make calendars far enough in advance for me. I will plan as far ahead as you'll let me.
I have come to find out....in my journey to become a healthier person, that when it comes to planning your fitness routine and your food choices, looking into the future can have the opposite effect. This doesn't calm me....it overwhelms me. Instead of feeling a sense of control over my health, I feel anxious. How can I possibly eat healthy and work out 4 days a week for the rest of my life?? This idea causes stress, stress leads to sleeplessness, sleeplessness into anxiety and then....eventually, giving up. However, I seem to have found a loop hole.
I have found that when I quit worrying about tomorrow and focus only on today, my anxiety goes away. Now, don't get me wrong, to eat healthy and stay physically active, there is some planning involved. You need to buy the right foods at the grocery store and make sure you pay your gym membership.....but that's where it should end. Don't plan out every meal from breakfast to dinner for the next month. Worry about breakfast, lunch and dinner for the day you're in. Thinking about never getting to have McDonald's french fries EVER again will do nothing but lead you into their drive-up window. Make better choices for today and leave tomorrow.....for tomorrow!! This concept has helped me so much. Anytime I catch myself planning (worrying, more so) about tomorrow and later in the week, I stop myself. I have realized that all that does is weigh me down....and I've already got enough weight (pun intended)....I don't need anymore!!
I have come to find out....in my journey to become a healthier person, that when it comes to planning your fitness routine and your food choices, looking into the future can have the opposite effect. This doesn't calm me....it overwhelms me. Instead of feeling a sense of control over my health, I feel anxious. How can I possibly eat healthy and work out 4 days a week for the rest of my life?? This idea causes stress, stress leads to sleeplessness, sleeplessness into anxiety and then....eventually, giving up. However, I seem to have found a loop hole.
I have found that when I quit worrying about tomorrow and focus only on today, my anxiety goes away. Now, don't get me wrong, to eat healthy and stay physically active, there is some planning involved. You need to buy the right foods at the grocery store and make sure you pay your gym membership.....but that's where it should end. Don't plan out every meal from breakfast to dinner for the next month. Worry about breakfast, lunch and dinner for the day you're in. Thinking about never getting to have McDonald's french fries EVER again will do nothing but lead you into their drive-up window. Make better choices for today and leave tomorrow.....for tomorrow!! This concept has helped me so much. Anytime I catch myself planning (worrying, more so) about tomorrow and later in the week, I stop myself. I have realized that all that does is weigh me down....and I've already got enough weight (pun intended)....I don't need anymore!!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Can't I be happy AND thin??
When I told my husband last night that I had started a blog, I got the "you're ridiculous" eye-roll. I tried explaining to him how much it helped ME to write this stuff down. He asked what I was writing about and I told him, but he still couldn't quite grasp why I would want to "write" it down. I told him that I don't have the patience to actually write, which is what I was doing before blogging. I type so much faster than I write so my hands have a decent chance of catching up with my brain if I type. I told him it was therapeutic to be so open and vulnerable and to express yourself like this. He looked confused. I have blogging, he has golf. I choose to express myself, he chooses to swing a metal stick around. I guess the "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" conflict is put to rest.
I got up this morning to an empty house, started making some coffee and found myself wondering this exact question - "Can I be happy AND thin?" There have been 2 times in my adult life that I have been thin....notice that I did not say "fit", because I was losing muscle along with fat, but still....I was thin. It was when I was 19 and throwing up every morning (joys of pregnancy) and again a few years ago. Both were incredibly stressful times in my life. Pregnant at 19 will make you question your entire future and apparently, during that questioning, I didn't eat. And when I did, it came back up. Needless to say, I was losing weight and not gaining. The other time, which I choose not to share with anyone with an internet connection so I'm not going into detail, was a very, very stressful time in my life. I was making bad relatioship decisions and couldn't be bothered to eat. I lost almost 40 lbs. and didn't work a bit to do it.
WHY?? Why does a thin outer body have to come with such a stressed out, fragile, broken inner body? I don't want to be stressed out! I don't want to be pregnant again! (not yet anyway). In my experience, stress=thin. But.....I want to change that equation. So....
I was looking for an easy answer. That's why I didn't find one. Just like algebra and equations....the answer isn't usually easy. You have to work for it. I have to find a way to be happy and be thin....and not just thin, but "fit"! I have to wake up every day and make the right food choices. I have to wake up every day and make the right fitness choices (stairs or elevator, close parking spot or walking distance, watch TV or walk my dogs). I have to make choices that make my equation look different. I still don't make the right choices every day, but when I mess up, I don't throw the whole day away. I make corrections for my next choice, whether that be a meal or a parking space. I have a new equation: happy=thin=fit=fabulous!!
I got up this morning to an empty house, started making some coffee and found myself wondering this exact question - "Can I be happy AND thin?" There have been 2 times in my adult life that I have been thin....notice that I did not say "fit", because I was losing muscle along with fat, but still....I was thin. It was when I was 19 and throwing up every morning (joys of pregnancy) and again a few years ago. Both were incredibly stressful times in my life. Pregnant at 19 will make you question your entire future and apparently, during that questioning, I didn't eat. And when I did, it came back up. Needless to say, I was losing weight and not gaining. The other time, which I choose not to share with anyone with an internet connection so I'm not going into detail, was a very, very stressful time in my life. I was making bad relatioship decisions and couldn't be bothered to eat. I lost almost 40 lbs. and didn't work a bit to do it.
WHY?? Why does a thin outer body have to come with such a stressed out, fragile, broken inner body? I don't want to be stressed out! I don't want to be pregnant again! (not yet anyway). In my experience, stress=thin. But.....I want to change that equation. So....
I was looking for an easy answer. That's why I didn't find one. Just like algebra and equations....the answer isn't usually easy. You have to work for it. I have to find a way to be happy and be thin....and not just thin, but "fit"! I have to wake up every day and make the right food choices. I have to wake up every day and make the right fitness choices (stairs or elevator, close parking spot or walking distance, watch TV or walk my dogs). I have to make choices that make my equation look different. I still don't make the right choices every day, but when I mess up, I don't throw the whole day away. I make corrections for my next choice, whether that be a meal or a parking space. I have a new equation: happy=thin=fit=fabulous!!
Friday, March 5, 2010
I guess I'm blogging now.....
First off, let me say, that this blog is more for me than anyone else. I'm not even sure anyone else is interested in what I have to say here, but it's a cheap form of therapy....to share your thoughts and emotions....to be humbled and vulnerable.....so here goes.....I guess I'm blogging now.
The reason I thought to start this blog is the new journey that I am on to become fit. Let me explain what I mean by "fit". I don't mean "thin" or "hot" or any other term used to describe physical appearance. I mean "fit"! There is so much more to being fit than looking good. Looking good is just icing on the cake (no pun intended). I have come to realize in the past few months how important my choices are to my family. I always knew that the choices I made financially, emotionally, spiritually and even mentally had an impact, but my food choices? My exercise routine? How do these effect my family? They do!!
It first came to me when I was thinking about my daughter, Caitlyn. She was playing a basketball game and I started thinking about all the sports I want her to play when she gets older. I want her to be active and have a passion for sports. How is she going to get that passion?? I can't wish it on her. I can pray for God's supernatural power to move on her, but I have to move in the natural before the supernatural can do it's part. So, I have to live by example. I have to show her what being healthy is all about, and not just physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I want to be able to practice basketball or volleyball with her and not get winded. I want to run with her and play with her. I don't want to be the mom who is too tired and sends her kid outside to play with someone else. I want her to play with ME!
So, I started making changes, we all did. Late last year, my family and I decided that we weren't going to be eating white pasta or white bread anymore. Now, we eat whole wheat pasta and wheat bread. The only thing we use is white sugar and that's for our tea. We don't sweeten it very much, but it's still there. We also decided to cut out as much caffeine as we could. We never had cokes in the house, so tea was the only drinking choice we could change. We went from regular tea to decaf and from regular coffee to decaf. I, an avid coffee drinker, was concerned about how decaf coffee would taste. Would it wake me up in the morning? What's the point of having coffee if it's decaf, right? Well....I have come to find out that if you are eating right and working out, you sleep better. When you sleep better, the mornings are easier and you don't need caffeine to wake you up. Nature does it for you!
I have been struggling with my weight for a while. I wasn't even fat in high school, but I was always on the verge, ya know? You could look at me and just know that weight would be a struggle for me for the rest of my life. I wasn't born with great genes. My father's side is obese and apparently, I got his genes. My mother's side is fine, which is where I suppose my little sister, Karah, gets her genes. I kept a decent weight up until I had my daughter. I had Caitlyn when I was 20 years old and did ok for the first 6 months of her life. It's been an uphill battle ever since. I know that they tell you when you have a kid, your body is just different. I didn't believe it until it happened to me. Now, I'm not blaming my weight on having a baby, it was my choice to eat unhealthy and not work out. However, it does take a toll on the body!
Last year, about September, my husband and I decided to quit whining about our bodies and do something about it. This was about the time we cut out the white flour and the caffeine. We got a gym membership at the town club and never looked back. We were at the gym....ALL THE TIME!! We made small choices in our eating habits. We never really ate bad before so only small changes needed to be made. I was working out 6 days a week (3 days strenth training, every day cardio). If you're gonna do something, do it all the way, right?
WRONG!!! After 3 months of going to the gym 6 days a week, I had lost 3 lbs. 3lbs after 3 months!! Are you kidding me?? It wasnt' worth it. What was wrong?? I got frustrated....very, very frustrated. Why work out 6 days a week and have nothing to show for it. Sure, I was feeling better and sleeping better, but in my mind, at the time, that wasn't enough. I quit going to the gym. I stopped at the end of November and didn't step foot in the gym again for the rest of 2009. I then decided to talk to my doctor. She ran some tests. There it was, the problem that had been taunting me every day at the gym.....my thyroid. I had read in all my SHAPE magazines about how important your thyroid is to weight loss and energy levels. I asked my doctor if my thyroid had anything to do with not being able to lose weight. "Absolutely", she said.
Praise the Lord....finally, an answer to my struggle. My doctor put me on a thyroid pill, it regulates how my thyroid works. Luckily, it's only $4 a month because I have to take it for the rest of my life. My doctor says that my thyroid will always need help to regulate itself and I'm ok with that. After 6 weeks of taking the pill, I went back to the doctor to see if my levels were normal and if the pill was working. It was....my levels were great and they got the correct dosage on the first try! No more excuses.
So now, my husband and I are back at the gym, but not 6 days a week. Something else I've learned, both through experience and literature- You're body does more in recovery than it does at the gym! I wasn't giving my body time to recover. That's when the weight comes off, that's when your muscles tone and your heart recovers, during your days off. So now, we go 4 days a week. Instead of an hour on the bike, we do 45 minutes on the elliptical. Another news flash- my cardio wasn't intense enough. That bike does not hold a candle to the elliptical. I was burning 315 calories in 45 minutes on the bike and now I'm buring almost 3x that much (925 calories) in 45 minutes on the elliptical. And....I'm finally losing weight. I'm finally seeing the fruits of my labor.
But, the most important thing I've noticed, is that I pray more. I have learned that I can't do everything myself. If I burn 925 calories, it's because God gave me a strong body and wants to see me happy and successful. Everytime I'm on the elliptical and I feel like I can't go on, instead of blasting my iPod, I pray....I pray for strenth and endurance to win this fight with my weight...once and for all. Not just for me and how it would make me feel, but for my little girl, who looks up to me and wants to be just like me. I don't want her to struggle like I have. I also do it for my husband, who thinks I'm beautiful no matter what size I am....and tells me everyday how much he loves me. I want to grow old with him, we want to grow old together.
So....this blog is the first of many to come about this journey that I'm on. I weigh every Tuesday morning to check my progess. I have lost 8 lbs. in 4 weeks. It may be slow weight loss, but the numbers on the scale are on a steady decline.....and that's all that matters. I hope to write another blog on Tuesday......declaring yet another 2lb decline on the scales. Here goes......
The reason I thought to start this blog is the new journey that I am on to become fit. Let me explain what I mean by "fit". I don't mean "thin" or "hot" or any other term used to describe physical appearance. I mean "fit"! There is so much more to being fit than looking good. Looking good is just icing on the cake (no pun intended). I have come to realize in the past few months how important my choices are to my family. I always knew that the choices I made financially, emotionally, spiritually and even mentally had an impact, but my food choices? My exercise routine? How do these effect my family? They do!!
It first came to me when I was thinking about my daughter, Caitlyn. She was playing a basketball game and I started thinking about all the sports I want her to play when she gets older. I want her to be active and have a passion for sports. How is she going to get that passion?? I can't wish it on her. I can pray for God's supernatural power to move on her, but I have to move in the natural before the supernatural can do it's part. So, I have to live by example. I have to show her what being healthy is all about, and not just physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I want to be able to practice basketball or volleyball with her and not get winded. I want to run with her and play with her. I don't want to be the mom who is too tired and sends her kid outside to play with someone else. I want her to play with ME!
So, I started making changes, we all did. Late last year, my family and I decided that we weren't going to be eating white pasta or white bread anymore. Now, we eat whole wheat pasta and wheat bread. The only thing we use is white sugar and that's for our tea. We don't sweeten it very much, but it's still there. We also decided to cut out as much caffeine as we could. We never had cokes in the house, so tea was the only drinking choice we could change. We went from regular tea to decaf and from regular coffee to decaf. I, an avid coffee drinker, was concerned about how decaf coffee would taste. Would it wake me up in the morning? What's the point of having coffee if it's decaf, right? Well....I have come to find out that if you are eating right and working out, you sleep better. When you sleep better, the mornings are easier and you don't need caffeine to wake you up. Nature does it for you!
I have been struggling with my weight for a while. I wasn't even fat in high school, but I was always on the verge, ya know? You could look at me and just know that weight would be a struggle for me for the rest of my life. I wasn't born with great genes. My father's side is obese and apparently, I got his genes. My mother's side is fine, which is where I suppose my little sister, Karah, gets her genes. I kept a decent weight up until I had my daughter. I had Caitlyn when I was 20 years old and did ok for the first 6 months of her life. It's been an uphill battle ever since. I know that they tell you when you have a kid, your body is just different. I didn't believe it until it happened to me. Now, I'm not blaming my weight on having a baby, it was my choice to eat unhealthy and not work out. However, it does take a toll on the body!
Last year, about September, my husband and I decided to quit whining about our bodies and do something about it. This was about the time we cut out the white flour and the caffeine. We got a gym membership at the town club and never looked back. We were at the gym....ALL THE TIME!! We made small choices in our eating habits. We never really ate bad before so only small changes needed to be made. I was working out 6 days a week (3 days strenth training, every day cardio). If you're gonna do something, do it all the way, right?
WRONG!!! After 3 months of going to the gym 6 days a week, I had lost 3 lbs. 3lbs after 3 months!! Are you kidding me?? It wasnt' worth it. What was wrong?? I got frustrated....very, very frustrated. Why work out 6 days a week and have nothing to show for it. Sure, I was feeling better and sleeping better, but in my mind, at the time, that wasn't enough. I quit going to the gym. I stopped at the end of November and didn't step foot in the gym again for the rest of 2009. I then decided to talk to my doctor. She ran some tests. There it was, the problem that had been taunting me every day at the gym.....my thyroid. I had read in all my SHAPE magazines about how important your thyroid is to weight loss and energy levels. I asked my doctor if my thyroid had anything to do with not being able to lose weight. "Absolutely", she said.
Praise the Lord....finally, an answer to my struggle. My doctor put me on a thyroid pill, it regulates how my thyroid works. Luckily, it's only $4 a month because I have to take it for the rest of my life. My doctor says that my thyroid will always need help to regulate itself and I'm ok with that. After 6 weeks of taking the pill, I went back to the doctor to see if my levels were normal and if the pill was working. It was....my levels were great and they got the correct dosage on the first try! No more excuses.
So now, my husband and I are back at the gym, but not 6 days a week. Something else I've learned, both through experience and literature- You're body does more in recovery than it does at the gym! I wasn't giving my body time to recover. That's when the weight comes off, that's when your muscles tone and your heart recovers, during your days off. So now, we go 4 days a week. Instead of an hour on the bike, we do 45 minutes on the elliptical. Another news flash- my cardio wasn't intense enough. That bike does not hold a candle to the elliptical. I was burning 315 calories in 45 minutes on the bike and now I'm buring almost 3x that much (925 calories) in 45 minutes on the elliptical. And....I'm finally losing weight. I'm finally seeing the fruits of my labor.
But, the most important thing I've noticed, is that I pray more. I have learned that I can't do everything myself. If I burn 925 calories, it's because God gave me a strong body and wants to see me happy and successful. Everytime I'm on the elliptical and I feel like I can't go on, instead of blasting my iPod, I pray....I pray for strenth and endurance to win this fight with my weight...once and for all. Not just for me and how it would make me feel, but for my little girl, who looks up to me and wants to be just like me. I don't want her to struggle like I have. I also do it for my husband, who thinks I'm beautiful no matter what size I am....and tells me everyday how much he loves me. I want to grow old with him, we want to grow old together.
So....this blog is the first of many to come about this journey that I'm on. I weigh every Tuesday morning to check my progess. I have lost 8 lbs. in 4 weeks. It may be slow weight loss, but the numbers on the scale are on a steady decline.....and that's all that matters. I hope to write another blog on Tuesday......declaring yet another 2lb decline on the scales. Here goes......
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